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If you’ve ever been in the middle of a breathtaking moment (a mountain, a ski run, a stupidly perfect snow day) and your brain whispers “remember when everything fell apart?” … then you’re gonna want to read this AND drop into this episode. This is exactly what Abmari and I got into this week. Just two control freaks who schedule their suffering, accidentally raise tiny versions of themselves, and are learning that ease actually feels kind of painful. Here’s what you missed

Happy 2026! This week’s episode is a declaration. A “fuck it” to what’s no longer serving us, and a “hell yes” to what’s ahead—even if it’s messy, uncomfortable, or involves breaking into your own car with a coat hanger. Abmari and I sat down and dropped our Fuck It Lists for 2026. No resolutions, no soft launches. Just straight-up shedding what doesn’t belong anymore. Drop in to the chaos here . This episode is for anyone who’s ready to stop performing their life and start l

Your brain can be a chaotic, cringe-filled, overthinking circus sometimes. 🤡 And if you’re anything like us, you’ve spent years trying to silence the inner critics instead of asking them… what if you’re actually useful? That's what we're doing in this conversation .👇 We’re doing a deep—and deeply unhinged—dive into the voices in your head. You know, the ones that love to whisper (or scream) about perfection, past embarrassments, and whether you’re doing enough . We got real

We’ve all been there. You visit your childhood home, and watch a decade's worth of therapy evaporate like a puddle in the desert. Someone sends a slightly terse email and suddenly your heart is racing, your jaw is clenched, and you’re mentally drafting your resignation letter to go live in a yurt. Or, the barista gets your coffee order wrong and for a split second, you consider launching a full-scale Yelp campaign titled “The Great Latte Betrayal of 2025.” Where does this com

Hustle doesn't require skill, but skill is a natural result of aligned hustle. Abmari and I are taking back the word "hustle" from the land of burnout and side-quest hell. But, as it does in our world, this conversation spiraled into something much bigger, weirder, and more honest. We ended up talking about: The divine chaos of the ADHD brain and why working best under pressure isn’t a flaw—it’s a feature. The time a house fire felt less like a tragedy and more like “the ult

Abmari Saez-Millet and I visit some unexpected territory this week. We pulled two cards from a yoga philosophy oracle deck and what followed was one of the most raw, unhinged, and surprisingly clarifying conversations we’ve had . We somehow ended up down a rabbit hole that includes: The TRUE meaning of “sin” 👹 (spoiler: it’s not what you learned in Sunday school). A full-blown, horror-movie-style ghost story involving a 7-year-old, a shelf, and a demon that turned out to be

Let's cut the crap. You've probably been told a thousand times to "just do better," but no one ever tells you how. They just expect you to magically become a motivated, productive, emotionally-regulated superhero overnight. Yeah, we call bullshit. In our latest episode , we're breaking down exactly how to "do better" in a way that doesn't make you want to roll your eyes into the back of your head. It’s a six-step guide that starts with a simple breath and ends with you realiz

This episode was born from 45 minutes of pure, unadulterated waiting-room patience, which then spiraled into a conversation about sacred tribes, misdirected care, and why we’d all be better off in a holacracy-run commune in Puerto Rico. It was… a lot. And in true Interested in Chaos? form, we bring it all together. We connect the dots between: The sacred feeling of a true tribe vs. the weaponized version of "community" we see in mobs online. Jill’s shocking (and frankly, r

Let’s cut the shit: How many brilliant ideas are currently collecting dust in the Notes app on your phone? 🤔 How many “someday” plans are stuck in the dream realm because you’re waiting for the “perfect” time, the “right” amount of confidence, or a sign from the universe that probably got lost in your spam folder? In our latest episode of Interested in Chaos? , we’re tearing apart the myth of “ready” and replacing it with the messy, glorious reality of building the damn thi

This one’s for all you bad-ass business bitches out there. Ever feel like you're running in circles? Chasing a new strategy every week, tweaking your offer into oblivion, feeling that ick when it's time to sell, and convinced that if you don't do it all yourself, it'll all fall apart? Yeah. I see you. Because I've been you. In this episode of Interested in Chaos? , Abmari and I tear apart the four biggest lies we tell ourselves as business owners. BTW - we are business owne

We mainlined every scary movie we could find this week and let’s just say… it unlocked something. This episode is a choose-your-own-adventure through demonic foot-fetishes, the psychological thrill of being a serial killer (from your couch, don't worry), and why the Vatican might not be the ultimate authority on your spiritual ass-kicking. It’s part film critique, part existential crisis, and a full-blown exorcism of our own collective baggage. Buckle up. In this episode, we

Episode 28 is live , and it’s a fun little journey to nowhere and everywhere all at once. We started by finally launching our merch (we were our own first customers, no shame), and then we fell headfirst down a rabbit hole that includes: Memory Loss & Absolutes: We genuinely can’t remember our own wedding dates and why saying “I always forget” is a spell you need to break. Confrontation vs. Conflict: We’re dismantling why you run from discomfort and why “confrontation” just

We just dropped a new episode and it’s… interesting. In the best way possible. We started off talking about that frantic need to fill every quiet moment, and let's just say we took the scenic route through the human psyche. 😆 It’s one of those conversations that feels like emotional whiplash—in a good way? We’re talking: The sacred art of getting bored. (And why a generation raised on instant gratification is being robbed of their creativity.) 🎨 Why we’re all so desperate

We’re back with another episode that truly embodies the phrase “what just happened?!” This one starts with a Dave Matthews Band concert and ends with us questioning the entire fabric of reality, the government, and whether Adam’s first wife was unfairly cancelled. (Yes, the biblical Adam). We dissect: The sacred, snot-sobbing tradition of a DMB concert as a radical act of self-love. The "Yah-but Hole" vs. The "Rabbit Hole": Why one leads to fear-based excuses and the other t

This episode is… a lot. And by "a lot," I mean we went to the deepest, darkest, most real place we’ve ever gone and somehow came out laughing. We sat down with my dear friend Cassandra, who 18 years ago was backed over by a truck and then run over by a car four minutes later. What followed was a medically-induced coma, being told she’d never walk again, and a lifetime of doctors saying, “We don’t know how you’re alive.” But this isn't a sad story. It’s a masterclass in spite

We hit record on what we thought was a simple Part 2. We were wrong. This episode took a hard left turn directly into the existential abyss, and we didn't even bother to signal. It’s one of our most unhinged, raw, and important conversations yet. We start by debating the merits of bug spray for a joyful hike and end up… well, discussing the ultimate sacrifice. Just a typical Tuesday. For reals, tho: This episode contains an explicit, unscripted, and deeply personal conversati

We woke up at 6 AM and decided to have a full-blown existential crisis before breakfast. The result? A conversation that somehow connects doom-scrolling, heart rate spikes, and the spiritual pursuit of living to be a thousand years old (thanks, Lennon). This episode is for anyone who’s tired of being told to just “get rid” of their anxiety and is ready to maybe, possibly, use it as a fucked-up superpower instead. We get into: The 6 AM meditation session that involved… Minion

We tried to answer a simple, childhood question this week and ended up detonating the entire concept of "growing up." This conversation is a wild ride from existential dread to the profound betrayal of a $200 Dell laptop versus an Alienware rig (we're still not over it, honestly). If you've ever felt like you're just faking it until you make it (and suspect everyone else is too), this episode is your sacred text. We get into: Why "I don't wanna grow up" is a valid life philo

Ever felt the white-hot rage that makes you want to kick a door down, but then remembered you're an adult (and your kids are watching)? Yeah, me too. This episode starts with a literal locked door at bedtime and spirals into one of our most raw conversations about the patterns we use to fill the voids in our lives. We're talking: The Bedtime Lockout: My daughter Lennon masterminds a home security test, leading to a 45-minute lock-picking session and a power drill solution. �

Let's cut the bullshit. Most self-help talks about feelings like they're delicate butterflies we need to gently acknowledge and release. We're calling it: Feelings are farts. Hold ‘em in? Painful, toxic, and eventually explosive. Let ‘em go? Relief, even if it’s a little messy and clears the room. This episode starts there and then, as we do, spirals into a beautiful, unhinged dissection of control, safety, and the stupid questions that create a stupid life. We rage, we laug