I read a whole novel and it felt illegal.

If you’ve ever been in the middle of a breathtaking moment (a mountain, a ski run, a stupidly perfect snow day) and your brain whispers “remember when everything fell apart?” … then you’re gonna want to read this AND drop into this episode.

This is exactly what Abmari and I got into this week. Just two control freaks who schedule their suffering, accidentally raise tiny versions of themselves, and are learning that ease actually feels kind of painful.

Here’s what you missed if you haven’t listened yet — and what you’ll want to steal for your own chaotic life:

🎧 Episode Highlights (the parts that made me laugh-cry)

• Grief has a calendar now. Abmari literally blocks out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings for it.

• You can cry from awe AND sadness at the same time. I did it on a mountain. She did it on a hike. It’s not broken — it’s just being a person who pays attention.

• Kids are walking mirrors of your own chaos. Lennon asked what to do if a stranger breaks in while we were reading a bedtime story. Then I remembered I used to lie awake running house fire scenarios every single night. Thanks, genes.

• Reading a novel felt like a chore, despair is boring, joy takes effort and other solid mantras 😅

I’m not here to tell you to “feel your feelings” like some Instagram infographic (I've done that enough). But I am here to say: if you never give sadness a seat at the table, it will flip the whole damn table over when you least expect it.

Here’s what’s actually helping me right now — and might help you too:

• You can schedule hard emotions without being a robot. Putting grief on a calendar doesn’t mean you don’t feel it. It means you stop letting it ambush you in the produce aisle.

• Two things can be true at once. “I’m so grateful for this moment” and “I’m devastated he’s not here” can live in the same chest. Let them.

• Your kid’s anxiety is probably your anxiety wearing a smaller pair of pants. Not your fault. But now you get to teach them what you’re still learning: not every cloud is a tornado.

• If doing nothing feels painful, that’s not a personality flaw — it’s a habit. And habits can be unlearned. Slowly. Awkwardly. One boring novel at a time.

• Despair is boring. I said it. Too much sadness is a drag. Too much joy can also be boring. The point isn’t to pick one — it’s to move between them with presence.

Your mission this week... notice "Oh, there’s my brain doing that thing again". And then laugh, because what else are we gonna do? We live here together. Let's try to enjoy it.

Stay curious.

✌🏼 Jill