Boundaries are Bullshit

This episode is a ride, as per usual. 🌀 We’re talking about the universe’s petty revenge on toddlers, why your boundaries might be backfiring, and the uncomfortable truth about why we’re all secretly addicted to validation. (Spoiler: You’re not immune. None of us are.) 

A few chaotic highlights:

• My daughter tests karma by yanking her sister’s hair—and learns the hard way that the universe always collects. (☠️ RIP, tiny toes.)

• Boundaries vs. ego traps: Why saying “You can’t cheat on me” isn’t a boundary—it’s a power handover. (Abmari’s mic drop: “If it was really a boundary, you’d leave.”)

• The bonfire of suffering: Your misery is a fire. 🔥 Every reactive thought? Another log. Stop feeding it.

• Texting for validation = modern-day Stan behavior. (If you’ve ever DM’d “U mad at me?”… this one’s for you.)

Sometimes the messiest conversations hold the most transformative truths. Here's what's sticking with me - and how you can actually use these insights before your next impulse reaction or toddler meltdown:

A Moment to Pause in the Chaos

1️⃣ Karma is Feedback, Not Fate

The Insight: When my daughter kept testing "what you give is what you get," she learned consequences aren't punishment - they're information.

Your Move: Next time life stubs your toe (literally or metaphorically), ask: "What energy was I putting out before this happened?" Keep a "karma log" for 3 days - just note cause/effect patterns. See what you notice!

2️⃣ Boundaries Are What YOU Do

The Insight: "You can't talk to other women" isn't a boundary. "I leave conversations that disrespect me" is.

Your Move: Rewrite one flimsy "boundary" today using this formula: "When [behavior], I [action I control]." Example: "When raised voices happen, I say 'I'll continue this when we're calm' and walk away."

3️⃣ Validation Hunger = Pain Pointer

The Insight: That desperate "Do they like me?!" feeling isn't about them - it's showing you where you don't yet like yourself.

Your Move: Next time you reach for your phone (or whatever you reach for) seeking external approval:

• Pause 30 seconds

• Ask: "What do I need to believe about myself right now?"

• Affirm it to YOURSELF - keep a list in your notes app or something 🙂

  
  

4️⃣ You're the Arsonist of Your Suffering

The Insight: Every "But they MADE me feel..." is another log on your misery fire.

Your Move: For one full day, add "...and I'm choosing to feed this" to every complaint.

Example: "My coworker ignored me... and I'm choosing to feed this by obsessing." Brutal. Freeing. Try it. 👏

Chaos isn't your enemy - it's your curriculum. The toddler meltdowns, the read receipts, the burning need to be "right"? These aren't problems to fix, but assignments to grow from. Your homework this week: Pick ONE insight and actually try the action step. Then notice: What changes when you stop waiting for the world to behave, and start owning your part in the dance? 😘 Drop into the episode here.